I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
