i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
