Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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