just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
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Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
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He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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