Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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