Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
