***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize