Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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