why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
