I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
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I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
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Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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