i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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