Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
