I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
