I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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