If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like iHOP with fire
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize