There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
