Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
