I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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