Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
