Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
