Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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