It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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