Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
