i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
