Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
