well you can't waste a boner
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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