Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
