My nipple is on Facebook.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
