Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize