i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
