pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
