I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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