i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Panties = found
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