you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
