They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
