So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
