Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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