That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
