i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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