dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i think i scared a bird with my dick
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
