Having a random hookup so left but love u
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
