he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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