"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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