sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
