Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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