I look better un-naked...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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