Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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