On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
