All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
