I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
