It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you traded sex for a burrito?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I believe in your delicious
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
