May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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