My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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