Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Oh god it's open bar.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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