this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
