I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
