What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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