The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
