She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
