So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
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i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
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No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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