So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
