Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
