wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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