My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
